


No One Ever Told Me Grief Felt So Much Like Fear

by Starofwinter



Series: Sweetest Downfall [6]
Category: Star Wars Legends: Republic Commando Series - Karen Traviss
Genre: Character Death, M/M, Maybe this is OOC for Vau, i don't care
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-07
Updated: 2017-02-07
Packaged: 2018-09-22 15:33:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9614375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starofwinter/pseuds/Starofwinter
Summary: Sev finds out the consequences for turning his back on his sergeant.





	

“You thought you could defy me,” Vau says, and his voice is colder than the Kaminoan seas.  He stands across from Sev, his saber in his hand, and smirks.  

Sev knows, in that instant, that only one of them will walk out of this alive.  He has to make another choice - his life, or Vau’s.  He swallows hard and steadies himself for a fight.  There’s no turning back from this; even if he wins, his life will never be the same.  “I did defy you.”  He’d done more than make Vau proud, he’d made  _ Atin _ proud, and for all their rivalry, that felt better than Vau’s approval ever could.  

It feels wrong - all of this feels so  _ wrong _ .  Sev knows  _ how _ to fight, even unarmed; he knows all the proper steps and footwork, and he knows if he can just disarm Vau, it will all be over.  Looking across the ring at the man who’d earned his devotion, who’d trained him since he was barely waist high to Vau, though… it’s wrong.

That innate sense of  _ wrongness _ is his downfall.  One wrong move, a shift of his weight from one foot to the other when he shouldn’t, and Vau slashes a line down his cheek to match Atin’s before he presses in, forcing his advantage.  “You’re  _ weak _ .  Your weakness is your squad’s weakness,” he snarls, and the light in his eyes as he says it chills Sev to the bone, drowning out the pain, “Atin is  _ your _ weakness.  It’s  _ pathetic _ , I trained you better.”

“I am  _ not _ weak!” he snaps back, and surges forward, fury getting the better of him for a moment.  It’s the worst mistake he could make against Vau’s cold hatred.

* * *

 

Atin felt the hairs at the back of his neck stand up - he can’t explain why, but he knows he has to find Sev,  _ now _ .  He bolts through the halls, ignoring the shouts of his brothers as he knocks them aside while he runs.  He feels a sick pit in his stomach, and he swallows hard to keep down the bile he can taste at the back of his throat.

He turns the corner just in time to see Vau step forward, the  _ beskad _ in his hand flashing as he buries it in Sev’s stomach; the sergeant leans in close, a hand at the back of Sev’s neck as he says softly, “Pity, I had such high hopes for you.”  A cry rips from Atin’s throat before he can stop it, fear giving way to shock as Sev’s body crumples.  Vau calmly steps back, wiping the blood from his blade, no emotion on his face as Sev gasps for breath.  .

Atin stumbles forward, kneeling at Sev’s side, trying to stop the bleeding as he shouts for a medic.  “Don’t you fucking die on me, you bastard,” he snaps, fear sharpening his voice, “I swear to all the fucking gods, if you die, I’m dragging your sorry shebs back here myself, you kriffing hear me?”

“Not gonna die, wouldn’t give you the fucking satisfaction.”  It’s obvious that even saying that much takes far too much energy out of Sev, and he slumps back, his eyes closing as he struggles to breathe.  “Who’s gonna piss you off without me around?  Kriffing Omega likes you too much-” he wraps his hand around Atin’s, holding tight while he tries to breathe, “Won’t knock you on your ass like I can.”

“And don’t you fuckin’ forget it.”  Atin tries to blink back hot, angry tears.  He won’t cry, he won’t mourn Sev already, even though he knows- he’s seen enough death to  _ know- _ he  _ won’t  _ give up on him, not till there’s no hope left.  “I love you, di’kut, don’t you fucking march away without me.”

“What’d-” Sev whines in pain, his hand a vise-grip on Atin’s, “What’d I say?  Not going anywhere.  Don’t talk like that, don’t tell me you love me like I’m-”  This time, he doesn’t finish; he arches up a little, his breaths coming harsh and fast while he tries to breathe through the pain.  “Tell me later, I’ll say it back, promise.”  His eyes meet Atin’s, and his hand tightens once more before he slowly breathes out and collapses back.

“Sev?  Sev, no-  Don’t you fucking do this to me, don’t you fucking dare, you son of a bitch-”  Atin only becomes aware that he’s sobbing when he can’t breathe to curse Sev’s name again.  Careful hands lift him away from Sev’s body, and he can’t find it in himself to fight them.  Kal is trying to say something. but his voice can’t make it through the ringing in Atin’s ears.  He might still be crying, he’s not sure, so he leans into Fi’s side and allows himself to grieve for a little while.

**Author's Note:**

> No worries, I still have plenty to write for these two!


End file.
